What I am about to tell you might shock you. Many people think that the most popular way of communicating with other people is through the mouth. Moreover, you can never determine the truthfulness or sincerity of people by what they say alone. In fact, words transmitted verbally oftentimes do not reflect what people really think or feel. The only way you can determine their true inner feelings and thoughts is by reading their body language. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you can "see through" the emotions of other people?
Let's say you asked a person if he can do an important task. He says "ok. You can't question him directly because that would be like belittling him. And even if you ask him those questions, his replies will not be indicative of what he really feels or thinks. The ultimate solution? Read his body movements and gestures.
You may even decipher if a person is telling the truth or not. Moreover, you can apply body language techniques to convey your intentions to other people. This will ultimately lead you to a successful career and fruitful relationships. Body Language Magic: How to Read and Make Body Movements for Maximum Success will teach you how to recognize various emotions or feelings such as nervousness, openness, anger, boredom, doubt, frustration, or excitement simply by observing facial expressions, postures, and gestures. You can use the knowledge of body language to identify if confidence, dominance, and other characteristics are existing in people.
On the contrary, you may also perform these gestures when you want to convey certain personality traits to subconsciously influence others. Cool, isn't it? After reading this book, you will never look at the world the same way again. You'll be able to immediately interpret certain actions and adapt to any situation.
Communicating with other people would become a much easier task. You will have a better understanding of people. It's like your eyes will be opened to the world for the very first time. Check out SOME of the information you will find inside:. Body language is very easy and fun to learn. With this book, you will be reading and making body movements to achieve the success you've always longed for — in no time at all. Do yourself a big favor and get a copy of Body Language Magic. Body language is the oldest and most genuine means of communication in the world, yet it is very much misunderstood.
By learning it, you will get a big edge over most people. Knowing body language is like having x-ray vision. You get to see what other people cannot! You Need These Too. Instant Download Immediate Access. With it, you'll be able to interpret other people's inner emotions even if they're not directly expressing it. You'll also be able to modify your behavior to fit the situation. You'll get them to like and trust you. What words cannot do, body language can. In this chapter, we shall explore the various body gestures or movements conveyed by people in different scenarios.
Suggesting Interest It is important to know if people are interested in what you are saying; otherwise, you are just wasting your time. Just imagine you are a chemistry teacher. You have always been interested in chemistry, so you assume that your students feel the same way as you do.
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But are they really interested? Are your teaching methods good enough to arouse their interest? Unless you can recognize the different body signals your students are conveying, you would never know how they are adapting to the subject matter. And unless you find out if staring continuously at you without blinking the eyes is a sign of interest or an indication of being in dreamland, you simply could not take the necessary steps to adjust to their learning needs. The more wide- opened the eyes are, the more interested the person is.
In fact, a person maintains eye contact more when listening than when talking.
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Their heads are inclined forward. They are nodding their heads. Such action means that they're agreeing with you. That means they're attentive and listening. Their feet are pointing towards you. They smile frequently. But take note, not all smiles convey the same feeling. An oblong smile is not genuine. It is used to show courtesy, but not necessarily happiness or friendliness. The lips are withheld completely back from the upper and lower teeth, forming the oblong shape.
This is usually the smile that many people exhibit when they feign to enjoy a lame joke. As you grow older, it has become a necessity to be able to detect if other people will agree with your decision or proposal. This is an ability that will truly help negotiators, employees, and even lovers to succeed in their ventures because they would be able to change their approach early enough to adjust to a specific situation.
There are certain hints to indicate if people are more receptive in accepting your ideas. Some of these are: Their hands are flat on the table. Their palms are open. If they're stroking their chin, they're thinking. They may agree with you after careful evaluation. Their legs are spaced out from each other. They unbutton their jackets. This indicates friendliness and willingness to collaborate with you.
Their hands are open. This also indicates genuineness. They place their hands in their chest. This signifies openness and conveys sincerity, honesty, or dedication. However, a woman putting her hands in her breast is a defensive position and may indicate that she is surprised or astonished. Indications That They are Thinking People think all the time. But different individuals make different body movements based on the type and intensity of their thinking. They take their glasses off, after which they may either 1 clean them, or 2 put the tip of the frame in their mouth.
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They are buying themselves some time to think things over. A frame in the mouth would also likely indicate that they need more details and they are willing to listen. They are pinching the bridge of the nose most likely with eyes closed. People doing this are engaged in very deep thought. They may be involved in a difficult situation, where they are aware of the consequences that may occur as a result of making crucial decisions. They put a palm below the chin, index finger pointed and extended along the cheek, while other fingers placed beneath the mouth.
This gesture more likely indicates thoughts that are criticizing or antagonizing other people. They walk with the head down and hands behind the back. People who walk this way are probably worried about their problems, and they are thinking of ways to solve them. Here are some hints that indicate frustration. Indications That They Are Action-Oriented People who are goal-oriented and highly motivated may not only be recognized by how they speak.
Their actions actually speak louder. They walk at a fast rate while swinging their arms loosely. They put their hands on their hips, usually with legs apart. They walk with hands on their hips. This may indicate a spurt of vitality at the moment, but may be followed by sluggishness. They cross their arms. They hide their hands any way they can. Indications Of Boredom Imagine your boss is doing a presentation and all employees are required to listen.
You noticed that many of them are clicking their pen, tapping their feet, and drumming their fingers. Their actions indicate just how bored they are. They show inattentiveness by staring at a blank space eyes not blinking or by looking around frequently. They are pulling their ears. This may also signify that they want to interrupt while another person is talking. They are clicking a pen non-stop. They are tapping their hands or feet. They yawn incessantly. Their feet or other body parts are pointing to the exit, as if they are very eager to leave.
They move restlessly in their seats. This could also mean that they are not cozy or at ease, or they might just be exhausted. They cross their legs and constantly kick their foot in a very slight motion particularly done by females. Restrain from such act even if your instinct tells you to do so. Instead, say, "Hold on. What's up? You may discover what's actually preventing them from keeping up with you. Some of the movements made by excited people include: They rub their palms against each other.
They clap their hands. Their heads are tilted forward. Their cross their fingers usually comes with the hope that something big or special will happen. Moreover, those who exhibit authority or dominance usually come out on top because they subconsciously make other people feel weaker. So how do they move? They maintain firm eye contact and rarely looks on other body parts underneath the nose. They speak with a low-pitched, slow-paced, downward-inflected voice. Chin tilted upwards. Chest projected outwards. They maintain an erect posture, whether standing or sitting.
They sit in reverse, with the back of the chair serving as their support or shield. People who sit in this position are known to be bossy and aggressive. Their hands are clenched behind the back. Their hands are placed beside the hips. Their feet are on top of the table. They have a firm handshake, palms pointing downwards. They lean back with both hands supporting the head. They move with precision and with no hesitation. They walk solidly with forceful arm swings. They join the fingertips of both hands together small finger of both hands joined together, ring finger of both hands joined together, and so on.
Palms of both hands are not in contact with each other.
The higher the hands are elevated, the more confident they are. When they do this, it may also mean that they are apathetic, disinterested, or unconcerned. Moreover, you can declare your domination over other people by rising or elevating yourself from them. It is not unusual to see taller people being in control over the situation. They will subconsciously think they are weaker and can easily be manipulated. They are more likely to restrain their raging emotions. You must therefore be able to recognize any gesture that signifies wrath or resistance to prevent any possible chances of the fireworks exploding.
Here are some hints: Their fists are clenched. Their hands or feet are tapping. One hand is clutching the other hand, arm, or elbow. Their arms are crossed over the chest. Their eyes are blinking constantly. Collar pulled away from the neck, like letting some air in during a hot day in the summer. They kick the dust or air. Their arms are vertically placed on the table while the hands are gripping the edge. Signals conveyed by nervous people include: Their fists are clenched.
The bottom edges between the fingers of one hand are clenched with the bottom edges between the fingers of the other hand. This is the position of the hands when praying. Hands are interlocked flesh between thumb and index finger of one hand joined with flesh between thumb and index finger of another hand and pressing each other. They speak in a high-pitched, fast-paced, stuttering voice. They whistle to conceal and fight their nervousness. They are often clearing their throat. One hand is clutching the other hand, wrist, arm, or elbow. Their arms are at the back, where one hand is pressing the wrist or arm.
Their arms are crossed, but they are gripping their biceps. Their legs are crossed while standing. They have a wilted handshake, palms pointing upwards. Their eyes evade you. Their ankles are locked or glued to each other. When accompanied by clenched fists, this may indicate that they are holding back strong emotions or feelings.
But it is in fact the opposite. People who smoke only do so when they are not tensed in any way. Here are some clues that may indicate suspicion: They glimpse sideways from the corner of one eye. They are rubbing or touching their eyes or ears. Their hands are tucked in their pockets.
Their glasses are dropped to the lower bridge of the nose, with eyes peering over them. This movement may indicate that you are being examined closely to the point that you get conscious. Signals Made When They Need Reassurance Some people have this disorder where they feel that they are always making the wrong decisions.
Maybe I should wait for a sale. They stick a pen in their mouth. They squeeze the chunky part of their hand. They rub the back of the chair while sitting. They clamp their hands with thumbs touching against one another. They bite their nails in some cases. They touch their throat for women. They jiggle the coins in their pockets. The facial appearance of the consoling female matches the solemn mood of the other female. A politician who would like to reassure you that he will be doing a good job when elected in public office would shake your hand with his right hand and cup it with his left hand.
Indications of Pride People often show how proud they are of their material possession for example, a car by leaning against it or by touching it. You can see the sparkle in their eyes and you can sense the thrill in their voice.
It may be to cover up a fault or embarrassment, to avoid upsetting other people, to encourage when no hope can be perceived, or to be spared from petty hassles. It may also be due to more serious psychological problems such as delusional imaging or extreme vanity. Here are some indications that are conveyed by people when lying: They speak in a high-pitched, fast-paced, stuttering voice. They are constantly swallowing and clearing their throat.
They try their best to avoid having eye contact. This applies particularly to people who want to avoid discussing a certain topic. They look somewhere else and glimpse from the corner of their eye. They stick their tongue out to moist their lips. They are blinking rapidly. They rub their throat. They are constantly touching parts of their face, especially the mouth, ear, and nose as if covering them. They scratch their head or the back of the neck. Their poses are closed, descending, and insecure. They always look down with shrugged shoulders.
They are constantly moving from one place to another or changing their poses. They are projecting parts of their body feet to an escape route door. Don't Jump to Conclusions Every person has a unique body language. Although silence usually denotes that an individual is reserved and relaxed, some people keep their anger within themselves and stay quiet. This is very unhealthy because rage kept up inside can explode furiously anytime, causing serious casualties. Constantly touching the mouth may indicate lying, although the real reason might just be that the mouth is itching.
One way to overcome this dilemma is to watch out for other signals that jive with the body language being exhibited. For example, you can confirm if a person is really nervous if he exhibits many of the qualities of nervousness described above. Judgment based on one or two gestures only may not be accurate enough, although they can be dependable. Be aware of the body language, but also combine your observations with the spoken words to get more hints regarding the inner feelings of another. Use this power to your advantage. Chapter 2 Mirroring Who would you rather be with?
Your best friend who loves pizza as much as you do, who's crazy about basketball like you are, who watches the same programs on TV as you; or your next-door neighbor who's a vegetarian, hates sports, and watches those shows that will bore you to dreamland?
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The answer is obvious. You would want to be around people who have the same behaviors, attitudes, and values as yours. Birds of the same feather flock together. Bookworms like each other's company because they share a common bond - their love for books. If you really want someone to like and trust you, you've got to exhibit the same qualities as that person.
Put yourself in their shoes. By doing this, you are also matching their way of thinking. You may easily adapt to their inner thoughts and views. You may also do some crossover matching. For example, you talk at the same rate as their breathing. Or you can scratch your chin every time their eyes blink. Get the idea? Be genuinely interested and curious with everything you can find out about them.
Discover their attitude. Know their life story. This is what we call mirroring. But mirroring should not be confused with mimicry. You should act with courtesy and caution. Never let the person you're mirroring be aware of what you're doing. Just imagine acting out shamelessly what the other person is doing.
Every time he stands, you stand. When he scratches his head, you also scratch your head. That would be insulting. Your main objective should be to influence the subconscious. Even if a person is not aware that you're mirroring him, his subconscious mind realizes it. The person will subconsciously be at ease when you duplicate his manners indirectly. He will feel very comfortable if you're both on the same level. Let's watch a movie so that you'll forget about whatever's bugging you. He expects you to feel for him, to empathize with him. Match his disposition first, then say something like, "I feel bad for you.
If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know. A word of warning though. If someone has some really big emotional problems, and you mirror that person, you run the risk of actually absorbing his emotions. So do this activity in a low-risk situation. Developing Rapport The ultimate goal of mirroring is to build rapport. So how would you know if you've built rapport? Mirror them. Match whatever characteristic, value, or behavior they possess that you would like to copy.
After some time, touch your nose or cross your legs. If they do the same thing, mission accomplished! You've already lowered their defenses to the point where they are more receptive to your suggestions. You can even build rapport even if a person you're mirroring is far away. Just relax. Clear your mind of all negative thoughts and create a bond by focusing on the entire body of the person you wish to mirror. Make his image so real and vivid. Use your subconscious to enter his world.
Feel the connection. Give out positive projections uniting his entire persona into yours. Think of what he may be doing at the moment. Then replicate his actions, behaviors, and principles. With this exercise, you can even emulate your role models. Let's say you want to be as successful as your boss who is always traveling around the world. Do the above exercise and you'll soon see some astounding results. Chapter 3 Body Language in Negotiations In almost every point in your life, you unconsciously do the art of negotiations. From haggling with your favorite flea market sales lady, to lobbying for a well-deserved increase from your boss, negotiations are being made daily in your life.
And would you believe almost all aspects of the negotiation process involves body language? In terms of the actual negotiation in business, body language is a very important aspect. Reading body movements of your counterparts and making the right gestures may spell the difference between success and failure in the negotiation process. Early Signs The first step in using body language in a negotiation begins the moment you walk into the negotiation room. Be keen in observing their body language by focusing on the whole body - the head, arms, hands, chest, tummy, legs and feet.
If you achieve this, you will be able to listen better. You will also be more perceptive in reading their body language. Personal Space in Negotiations In the negotiating table, each person creates his own personal space, his own territory. By business practice, people of higher status e. For example, the authority over the most dominant chair usually the head of the table is the apparent symbol of power. If this person occupies the dominant chair, a good negotiator can repel this by strategic seating arrangement of teams or allies in the negotiating table. You may sit in a way that you surround that person, or any seating arrangement where you may comfortably get leverage.
First Impressions Last In the negotiating table, the first move is the most crucial. So make a good, firm, and calculated move. Begin with a positive body language. Radiate your enthusiasm. In a meeting for example, look in the other person's eyes with sincerity. Your eyes are the windows to your soul. Give a solid handshake. Hold the hand firmly but don't squeeze it. A common fallacy is that we should squeeze the hand during this monumental time of the handshake. This is certainly not advisable.
Press the hand one time while looking the person straight in the eye. Pressing the hand once or twice may indicate excitement or vitality, but anything more than that can make the other person uneasy. In the first chapter, you were taught how to recognize if people are interested in what you are saying, if they are casting doubts on you, if they are more open to accept your proposal, and even when they are lying.
Be alert in recognizing these signals. Moreover, also be aware of your own actions. You might be exhibiting signs of nervousness without you knowing it, and your counterparts who might also know body language might take advantage of the circumstances. This is also true in selling. In the real world, we sell tangible items and also ideas.
A concise way on how we can sell effectively is by simply using that old but very powerful arsenal known as body language. When you sell, you can use postures, facial expressions, gestures, mannerisms, and your physical appearance to close the sale successfully. Most customers tend to buy when triggered by their senses. The key here is to do everything you can to positively affect their senses. Most people believed the image projected by Saint Mother Theresa is a positive image.
She used her personality to convey a constant image of holiness and sincerity. We bought the idea of her image. Non-verbal communication also connotes that a man of few words is a man of credibility. It's often not what you say that influences others; it's what you don't say. The signals that you impart using body movements suggest comprehension, disposition, morality, and compassion. In selling, the instant you meet a target client, he is already examining you based on your image and perception in a span of ten seconds or less.
This is a crucial moment in selling, as his first impression of you will definitely make a permanent mark. Whether you make or break a sale can literally depend on the non-verbal signals that you send during this crucial first contact. Americans, for example, are somewhat categorized as one of the best in reading body language, because they espouse thousands of non-verbal signs.
This ability makes them formidable negotiators. In addition, women are generally considered to be more adept to body language than men because of their natural built-in instincts. Now you know the secret why some women are more successful than men in the business or professional field. As a rule of thumb, body language is being used most of the time all over the world. But it is not necessarily the case every time. You can do it by looking at patterns. Look out for groups of signals that may have the same meaning in relation to the verbal expressions, and also in cognizance to the circumstances.
Once you have traced the patterns, it is easier to understand body language. It will therefore help you make a sale. An assertive person holds your hand firmly when you shake his hand. On the other hand, an individual with little or no confidence often gives a frail handshake. A person who wants to win your trust would usually shake your hand with his other hand covering the shake or holding your elbow. Adopt a handshake that is firm, yet not crushing. Convey confidence and professionalism, not dominance.
Posture is another aspect of body language. A slouching shoulder with your eyes looking on the ground can indicate lack of interest.
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